In The Kiss
by julesgriffith
Summary: A Coauthored Short by Ashley J and Jules that explores the night of Happy Birthday, and WHY Sully turns away after he kisses Michaela for the first time.


Disclaimer:We do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

**In the Kiss**

Written by, Julesgriffith and Ashley J.

October 10, 2005

**Warning: Jules and Ashley proudly announce that they spent 6.5 (plus) tireless hours working on this somewhat demented, yet oddly romantic short story. It does include some "not for kiddies" themes, so please take caution when you read our story. Other than that, enjoy!**

_She was laughing. I knew her laugh now. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard, nervous-like, but it had a ring to it like fine crystal. The townspeople surrounded her, swarming her like eager children, and she took them all in, as they presented her with her birthday surprise. Her name. I stood in the shadows, watching, simply watching as she uttered the last words of her speech that I knew was from the bottom of her heart, "Thank you. Thank you all."_

I looked up at the sign. My name! My name was painted on a sign and given to me as a gift from the entire town. I could hardly believe it, and my heart leapt at the simple gesture. But, something was missing. He was missing. Though I hadn't had time to prepare myself for this surprise, I was disappointed that Sully wasn't there. My heart almost broke at the thought of him not coming to my party. The children would have invited him. Perhaps my hopes had been too high. But, I missed him.

_"Alright everybody!" Grace called out in her fine Southern drawl. I couldn't help but smirk at how she took charge of the situation. "Let's eat!" I knew I had my chance now, as the crowd started dissipating, but Colleen and Brian lingered behind, and the children circled her with their bright energy. "Ya comin'?" Then I saw Dr. Mike turn, and that smile, that smile that hid so many things I wanted to know, crossed her face, and she said, "I'll be along in a moment." And finally she was alone. I held the fine leather in my hand, caressing her name once. It wasn't grand like the sign, but I wasn't really prepared for everyone to be watching us just yet. But, the truth was, it was her I was most scared of. _

Truth be told, I wanted to linger a while longer and watch the crowd scatter. Perhaps it would part, and he would be standing there waiting for me. But, I had no such luck, and I turned back toward my sign. It almost made it official, but the night wasn't perfect...yet. Where was he? He was supposed to be there. I let out a soft sigh, missing him still.

_I took a deep breath and straightened my tie. It was way too tight. What if she laughed? What if...? But it was now or never. Matthew had been right this afternoon. It was only a matter of time before she found someone else to spend her time with. She was... she was... I shook my head and dismissed those thoughts. No. This was just a... I am just being a friend. I am just wishing her well on her birthday. We are friends… Best friends. I took a step forward, and before I knew it, I followed her eyes and said, "Nice sign." _

My heart leapt at his voice, and my breath caught in my throat. What would I say when I saw him? Would my cheeks flush? Would I unknowingly reveal that I had been thinking only of him? I couldn't possibly! We were friends. Friends. Nothing more, right? What was I supposed to do? I took a breath, not skipping a beat. "Thank you." My eyes danced across his features, and I could hardly believe my eyes. He was in a suit! He looked incredible, and my thoughts of only friendship were temporarily gone. He looked like the man in the fairy tale…my prince…my knight in shining armor. But at the same time, he didn't look like the Sully I knew. "Sully!"

_She hadn't laughed. That's all I could think, as I tried to keep a cool face. She hadn't laughed. I stood a little taller, as I watched her eyes dance over my body, my suit, and I couldn't stop the smirk that pushed up the corners of my mouth. "What? Can't a man get dressed up for a special occasion?" Her eyes were so bright, and in that moment, she was exactly what I..._

A smile broke out in the corners of my mouth, and my eyes roamed over him again. My heart dared my face to blush, but I held it back. My head was full of rules of Boston's proper etiquette, but I couldn't remember the proper response to such a question, and I wasn't sure that my blushing like a schoolgirl was one of them. I said the only thing I could say, and I meant it. "You're looking very…" Did I dare? Yes. "Handsome."

_She made me feel like a man the way she was looking at me. It was my chance to tell her how beautiful she was, how every time I looked at her I just... She didn't need fancy dresses or smelly perfumes. Just the way she was right now--I wanted to tell her... But my voice couldn't find the words, and I just smiled, the same smile she sometimes did, and quietly said, "Well, thank you." Suddenly, I remembered the present in my hands. I lifted the saddlebags up. I didn't know why my palms were getting all sweaty, or why my mouth felt like a wad of cotton was filling it. "I...I brought ya somethin'," I nearly mumbled._

I looked down, noticing his hands trembling ever so slightly. I smiled a little, as he held the tanned leather out to me. I smiled, nearly gasping at his gift. "Oh! It's beautiful! Did...did you make this?" I looked up into his eyes. He was standing stiff as a statue. I think he'd been waiting for my response, hoping I would like it. How could he think otherwise? It was a gift from him…a gift from the heart.

_I nodded. The rest of my body wouldn't respond or move. The look in her eyes was something I had never seen before. It was like she was telling me everything that was hiding behind that smile of hers. I tried to find the words to keep on speaking, but I mangled them, as they sat pursed on my bottom lip, like I was a pouting little boy, not the man she... "It's for your doctorin'. There's a place for your instruments, and y-your pills and things." _

I couldn't take my eyes off of his mouth. He was nervous, and I wasn't quite sure what he was thinking. His eyes bore into mine, but they weren't filled with the expectations I had seen in so many others. His lips curled into a smile, and I smiled back, my eyes beginning to sparkle with tears I hadn't even known existed until this moment. My heart began to beat faster, and my breath caught. What was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do? I knew a simple thank you would suffice, but this night was special. He was special to me. I breathed in, and time seemed to slow down. His lips trembled, and I didn't want the silence to continue any longer. "Thank you, Sully." Before I knew it, my hand was resting on his shoulder, and I was leaning in. He closed his eyes just before my lips touched his cheek, right beside his mouth. I hadn't meant to get so close, but it felt so good; so right. I sucked in my breath and slowly began to pull away, my eyes slowly looking up into his…

_She was pulling away, and my body screamed out, no, don't do it, don't go, don't leave, stay, stay with me, stay in my arms, and I looked down, and she looked up, and I knew she was scared, and I was scared, but there was no going back, and there was no stopping it, as my lips fell and fell and fell, and finally we touched in the most simple way and my heart, my heart began beating again for the first time in years, and suddenly it was getting darker and darker and darker, and I pulled her closer so not to lose balance, as she remained the only constant thing in my world, and her mouth opened to mine, and suddenly her hands drew up to my face, and I could finally say it... I could finally give breath to my...my...my...desire...my love...my passion._

Feeling his lips brush against mine sent a thrill through my body, exciting the passion I had never felt before, touching places I never knew wanted to be touched. I wanted it, and nothing mattered but this moment, feeling his lips against mine, kissing me so softly that I never wanted to let go. I didn't want him to pull back, and my hands moved up to touch his cheeks, as he pulled me closer, drawing me in, tasting the innocence of my lips. He was sweet, slow, sensual. God, it couldn't end. I couldn't let it.

_I held her closer as the ground rattled beneath my feet, and innately, I felt the urge to pick her up in my arms. It wouldn't stop, and I had to protect her. But this kiss... I had never in my life felt anything like it. I lifted her in my arms and suddenly felt her gasp against my lips. As I looked back, the darkness stopped, the kiss ended, the town was gone, and all I could see was Michaela, in a white dress—_

He picked me up, and I trembled in his arms, letting my passion carry me away in his strong, loving embrace. I wanted more of him, and it frightened me. I gasped against his lips, and we began to fall together. The darkness disappeared. Where were we? The town was gone. All I could see was him, and I saw a vision of us dancing in his eyes. My hand reached for his, and he reached out for mine. Our hearts beat so loudly that I swear I could hear them. We moved toward one another, taking in the sight of each other. My breathing quickened, and I could barely find the words to tell him how much he meant to me, but in my heart, I knew he knew. "Sully…" My eyes closed, and I reached for him. I couldn't wait. My heart urged me on, and we pulled each other in.

_I knew we were moving, but we were also moving together in ways that were so new and surreal. She loved me without saying so. I could tell. We didn't need words. Oh God. I kissed her again and carried her back, back, back towards something... What was it? It was a bed, hand carved, wood. So much attention and care had been put into it. I gently placed Michaela on the edge of the bed, my lips never leaving hers. Was this right? Was this what she wanted? But I felt her sigh, I felt her breath quicken, and I trailed kisses across her cheek, down, down, down her collarbone to her back. And then I found where she was laced so tightly, and I wanted her out. I wanted to touch her. I wanted her then, and the thought frightened me, as I remembered the night, as I remembered how far away we were... How long I had waited to kiss her, to simply say... to say... Oh God, did she know? We couldn't be ready for this, could we? I pulled back, grabbing her face in my hands, my heart in my throat, as I cursed the raspy tones of my voice. "Dr Mike... I mean... Michaela... I... I... I have to tell ya... I--"_

"Yes," I breathed. I wanted him to tell me. I wanted to tell him. It was so soon, wasn't it? Where were we? What were we doing? It didn't matter. Our hearts, our souls, our bodies wanted it. "I have to tell you too." My mind wrapped around the soft bed I was placed upon. My skin tingled for more of his touch, and I reached out for him. If this was Heaven, death was nothing to be afraid of. God, my skin was on fire, and my eyes burned into his soul, silently asking him for more. More…More…It was what I needed then. My fingers moved into his hair, and our lips met again. "I need to tell you too," I repeated, feeling our breaths become one. I moaned against his mouth, inviting him in and throwing my inhibitions out the window. "Sully…" I wanted to say it first. My heart cried out. "I know. I know." We needed to say it. I needed to hear him say it before we gave ourselves to one another, yet, it felt like we had already said it a million times over.

_Suddenly the train jerked again, and the darkness descended upon us, and I heard her scream, I heard her reaching for me, but I was thrown back against the door of the train, and it was black, it was all black, and she was calling my name, and that feeling, that horrible feeling that I had lost her overwhelmed me, and I could hear the train wheels rolling, taking her away from me, and there was a man I didn't know laughing and holding her hand and there she was laughing and smiling, but it wasn't for me, it wasn't for me, it was for him, and black crawled up her dress like spiders, and I slid back in the corner of the train, as I looked into her eyes, and anger filled me, and I couldn't believe she had found me again. "What are you doing?" she said. She was angry, and it was my fault for walking away from her and that man. "I think that's pretty clear." I retorted. _

I was angry now. I loved him so, but he had to be so stubborn. Couldn't he see that I didn't care for…for…? Couldn't he see that I didn't love that man? I loved only him. Did he really expect me to say it now? Did he think that after all of this time, I could say it? I wanted to, but he was frightening me in a way that I needed. I knew it, but I wouldn't back down. "You're just leaving!" He looked into my eyes, daring me, challenging me to break my silence. Then he told me. He ripped my heart out when he told me there was nothing to stay for. God, I wanted to slap him and kiss him and make him see at the same time. I couldn't let him do this. I knew he was hurting. "Without saying goodbye?" He looked back up at me, and my heart froze for a moment, waiting for his answer. Waiting…waiting…and he looked at me…

_All I could hear was her crystal laugh, as she looked into that man's eyes, and I stared into her eyes, sending back daggers of ice. "Goodbye." That made the crystal break, that made that laughter stop, and she cried, "Why did you even come here!" I hadn't been able to tell her--there had been no time! Absolutely no time... Everything had happened so fast, and I couldn't say it, I couldn't say it, and she had laughed with him, and that laughter wouldn't stop, so I had to stop it, as I said coldly, "I told you." But she wouldn't take that, as she looked past my silence, my ice, my coldness. And, she asked me what the real reason was, and my heart burst into a million pieces, and I know she heard my jealousy, "What do you care?" But, she said she cared... she said she cared..._

I wondered how he could be so stubborn. I loved him even more for being so jealous, but I couldn't let him go away without telling me why. Why? Why… His eyes flashed with fear and jealousy and anger, and it made me want to reach out to him. But, I stood my ground. "Well, ya sure didn't look like it back there at that meetin'!" I sighed heavily, my blood boiling and my heart pounding. I had never loved him more. "I'm asking you a question," my voice quivered. I needed to know, and yet, at the same time, I was afraid. "Why did I come?" he wondered. Exasperated and eager, I cried, "Yes, why!" He tripped over his words. Because…because…because. That's all I heard. I asked him again, and my heart nearly burst. It was time.

_I grabbed onto her, and I didn't know I would say it. I only knew I felt it, but as the train jerked, and I saw the surprise on her face, I knew that I had said it, and it had become more than a feeling. It had become words and reality; it had become the truth. But…but…but as I looked into her eyes, as I searched for a response, she only slightly smiled, she only slightly sighed, she only slightly lit within, and suddenly she was gone again, and I was terrified, and I was alone, and the darkness had returned, and I couldn't find her anywhere. I turned around, and it was daylight, and I saw their silent faces, their dark eyes staring back at me. Terror swept over me, and I hit my chest as I looked into each one of their eyes. "I know she was here." All I got back was silence, nothing but silence and blank stares. "Help me find her!" I took a deep breath, and put my hand over my heart, "Hesta mayo." When I got no response, I said again, "She's my heartsong."_

I sat there, unmoving and unflinching. My hands crossed over each other, as I sat slumped over, blood seeping from fresh scrapes, the cracks and sores on my feet oozing and making me want to vomit. But this pain was nothing compared to the pain that I felt by being away from my family. My family. He was a part of that, and I missed him. I yearned for him to find me. I wasn't strong enough to break away. I had tried, and I had failed. They'd kill me next time, and I refused to die without making things right. He needed to know I still cared; that I still loved him. "Sully..." The patched-eye Indian didn't look up. I bit my lip. I could feel him thinking about me. Sully...Sully...I didn't know if I was thinking it or saying it, but I didn't care. My heart cried for him. My heartsong...

_The darkness descended after the woman told me where she was, and I ran into it. I ran with everything I had. I was so sorry, I was so sorry for doubting her, for thinking the worst, and now everything was wrong, and they had taken her away from me, and there she sat alone in the darkness, cut, bruised, and I wondered if they had hurt her, touched her, made her do things she... I couldn't fathom... I pressed my lips together and whistled, gaining her attention, she looked and…and she saw me, and she knew I was there. We were going to be all right. She stood up and called out to the patched-eye Indian, and her eyes kept looking back towards me, as I sat pursed on my feet, ready, ready, ready to take her away..._

My heart filled with hope, as I heard him. I heard him calling to me. I wanted to go. I told the Indian of my faux predicament. I told him that nature was calling, in the best possible way I could, and he took me to the bank of the waters. He wouldn't turn, and fear gripped my heart again. I tried to make him turn, but he grabbed me. This was it. He was going to have his way with me once and for all. He would have before, but now it was going to happen now. As he was about to push me down into the dirt, he was knocked away. My eyes grew wide, and there was Sully, fighting him off. My God was he strong. He was fighting for me, and I felt helpless. "Sully!" I heard their battle under the moonlight, and silence followed shortly after. Sully grabbed me, and we waded into the water. It stung my skin, but it didn't matter. My arms held on tightly to his neck. They wouldn't let go. They couldn't let go. I was frozen in his arms, and he was focusing on getting us out. The torches began to line the banks, and we ducked under the dark shadow of the clouds that passed over the moon. We were lost to them, and we were home free. Not completely, but it felt like it.

_Safe. Alive. Thank God. Thank God. _

He pulled me out of the water, holding onto me, carrying me. I was tired. Sleep clung to the edge of my consciousness. I was drowsy, and as Sully walked, my head rested on his shoulder. I was weary, drained, relieved. "Sully…" He told me it was going to be all right. He told me I was safe. Then he told me to go to sleep, and we would be home tomorrow. I believed him. I had to. My lips found his neck, and I kissed him there.

_Something touched my neck._ _It was softer than rose petals._

I wasn't sure if he felt it, but his arms held me tighter, not wanting to let go. That gave me the courage to fall asleep in his arms. But, my body was conscious to the way it felt in his arms. Oh, his hands didn't dare to move to the places that weren't proper of a lady.

_Her body fit perfectly in my arms, as I carried her. My God… My God…_

My God, he was still a gentleman in the worst of circumstances. It made me happy, and it reaffirmed my love and admiration of him. This was the man. He was the one. He was mine, and I had to tell him. We had to get through the past. We had to look forward to the future. It wouldn't be easy, but I wanted it. He wanted it. The past was the past. The future was ours. Finally, my body submitted to exhaustion, and I let Sully carry me off.

_I placed her in a bed of pine, beneath the rock, almost a cave. I watched her sleep in the moonlight, and I wished to God that we could wake up from this nightmare and that she would never feel any pain or sorrow. I wished that I would never hurt her, or watch her weep... or...or... lose her again. Every time was more painful than the last, and still, something stood in our way, something kept us so far apart. I dared to lie down beside her, wrapping my arms around her, refusing to sleep, refusing the dreams. I didn't want dreams, I wanted this. I wanted her, with me, now. Just like this... just like this. Just like—_

I felt his arms encircle me, and it felt so good, but I was too tired to move. I wanted to roll over and caress his face, and tell him how I wished I could take back all of the pain and the sorrow. But, my body was tired. I slept. I slept a long time, and when my eyes finally opened again, I was alone, and the light was beginning to surround me. I sat up, panicked. "Sully?" I looked to the side, and there he was, his tanned form standing guard, watching… watching…. I held my hand out to him, he took it, and he joined me, wrapping his arms around me and assuring me that I was safe.

_Her eyes were so completely lost, like a little girl's. She pulled me to her, and it took everything I had not to fall into her eyes. It would have been so easy. I kissed her hand, and we leaned close to each other, so close, so close…_

I wanted nothing more than to kiss him and to share my body, my soul with him. It's what I wanted. It's what he wanted. It was nearly taken from me. But now, with Sully… My heart told me it was right, but my mind told me what I really wanted.

_She was so vulnerable…too vulnerable. I cleaned her feet and she flinched, and I felt the pain shoot through my heart. I couldn't stand it. I never wanted to see her in pain. I was supposed to protect her. I was supposed to be the man who could take care of her._

He promised to carry me. He asked if they'd hurt me. It hurt me to think that he had been wondering and imagining all of the horrible things that could have happened. Not in that way, I said.

_I couldn't look at her, because then she would know. I would do anything for her. I took the honey and berries, avoiding her gaze. But she knew. She knew me too well. Far too well. Everything was in her eyes, and I couldn't stay away._

He tasted the honey from my lips. I wanted him to taste more, but it wasn't right. Not yet. It wasn't time, but time was precious. "Hold me," I whispered. And he did. Flesh to flesh, my meager clothing only thin barriers between our bodies, and we could have had it all. We could have…but we didn't. We knew what was right. We knew to wait, but it was so hard. My lips still tingled from his kiss, and the taste of honey remained. My fingers were still sticky and sweet, and I suckled the honey off of them. He looked at me, wanting a taste too, and I let him have my hand. I closed my eyes, feeling his tongue on my fingertips, and it was the most erotic experience of my life. "Hold me." Again, he enfolded me in his arms and rocked me.

_"Hold me," she whispered again, her voice thick with heat...Hold me... She seemed to breathe into my skin, as she kissed my neck, my skin, heating my veins, boiling, and we were breathing together, and I rocked her against me, and our eyes closed, and her soft skin became my skin, and it was like she was evaporating into my body, and I whispered into her hair, "Michaela, Michaela." But then, then her softness vanished, and her tender kisses left, and I opened my eyes, and the darkness was back, and I was left but nothing but her steam, her heat, the fire of her heart, and I called out, as I reached forward, searching for her, "MICHAELA! MICHAELA!"_

I heard him call for me, and I raced to the entrance of the sweat lodge. Caring for him had been tiring, but I wouldn't have given up a moment of being alone with him out in the woods. I loved him. I loved him with all of my heart, and we had finally gotten to the point where we could say it again and not think about the bad things. We were there. We were in the moment, and it broke my heart to hear him in such pain. So, as I crept into the hovel, I faced him, my face full of worry and alarm. He was reaching…reaching for me? He turned to me, put his hand on my shoulder and asked, "Where'd you go?" Obviously stunned, I shook my head. "I've been right here." I wasn't sure he was convinced. It hurt to see him like this. I wanted to hold him and tell him it would be all right. The pain would go away. "It's really you? You're not leavin'?" What was he speaking about? I could never leave him. Never. I loved him too much to ever say goodbye. "No," I whispered, my eyes staring into his, silently pleading with him to realize my love for him was solid, and nothing would ever break it. It was then that he told me. He told me he didn't want me to leave. He wanted to be with me. He _needed _to be with me. Sully looked into my eyes, and he told me he would love me all of his days, and I felt it. I felt those words echo through my soul. His hands framed my face and then…and then…

_It came over me suddenly, and I knew it, as I had known it all along, and why, why, had I waited a day to ask her? The words poured out of my mouth: Will you marry me? And there was no hesitation, only a single breath, as she said yes once, and we didn't wait. I covered her mouth with mine, and then oh, I was free, and I welcomed the darkness, as she opened her mouth to me, and I felt her tongue touch mine for the first time, and I pulled her closer, as the darkness grew heavier and heavier, and I wanted it, and I wanted her now, and it was right, it was so right, and suddenly, I heard her laughter, nervous like crystal, and she whispered through her teeth, "Sully... It isn't even dark yet..." I pulled back and looked into her eyes, and I couldn't help but smile as I took my footing again in the wobbly train. How could I convince her that it was all right? How could I convince her that the journey was worth it, beautiful and dark, and frightening and light all at once? I smiled, letting go of her hand, an idea coming to mind as I backed up, "But it's getting darker..."_

My cheeks flushed, as he drew the shades. One, two, "and darker," three. My body was reacting to him, and he wasn't even touching me. I was on fire. I wanted this, but I was so, so scared to let myself be the passionate creature that Sully was expecting. Oh, it was there, wanting to break free, but I needed only a little time, and I loved him even more for making me comfortable. He moved toward me, and he kissed me again, teasing me only for what only seemed a moment before pulling himself away. My lips tingled, and I wanted to pull him back to me, but he held his hand out, motioning for me to wait a moment, and he pulled another shade down, continuing to dim away the light of my past, my purity. It was time. He knew it. I knew it. My body knew it, and I tried to hold myself together. "…and darker." He came back toward me. I was ready. Was he? Yes, I think he was, and my worries began to melt away with a simple look, a simple touch. I wanted to show him that I was ready.

_I kissed her again, and I felt her breathe, panting, as I traced kisses down her neck and shoulder, but as I moved to her back, she suddenly got up and moved again, and that fear, that constant fear gripped my heart, and I prepared for the darkness to take her away, as I turned around and watched her move to the last window. What would she do? Would she fly away? Disappear? Would this be the last time I would see her? But she didn't vanish. She didn't go. She turned back to me, and smiled. And, she became the darkness. And, I saw and knew everything in the dark that she hid beneath her smile. I saw it all. Her heart was open. It said, I'm not afraid. I'm here. I'm ready. I'm not going anywhere. But, her words were only echoes of mine, "And darker." She knew what hid behind my heart. My silence. My reticence to love; to share my heart. She came back to me, placing her hand on my face, and I knew we were one. She kissed me, and our mouths merged into each others as never before._

Before I knew what was happening, we were lying back on the bed, our arms wrapping around each other, our mouths mingling to the melody we had created in our hearts. My mind was reeling, and it was spinning around the memories we had made together, and they all came swirling down to this moment. This was it. This was the point of no return. His hands were working with my dress, trying to release me from the prison I had been tied up into. My body cried out for his touch. I was scared. I was ready. Questions ran through my mind. What if it hurts? What if I'm not what he expects? What if I can't please him? But, then he released me, helping me out of that beautiful, heavy prison. He pulled me close, kissing my flesh and sending me spiraling toward a goal I had no idea I would reach with him. God, his hands. His hands were like ice on my burning skin, but he warmed them quickly, and our mouths moved together. We moaned together. We were about to move together. "Sully…"

_As I pulled the white trap off her, I forced an invisible cage around myself, restraining myself as my hands ran slowly over her soft flesh. Everything inside of me was building, pulsing through my veins, as my hands rounded her breasts, and I knew I was breaking the bars as I felt her, and for an instant, I grasped her soft skin in my hand, emitting a soft moan from her lips, and again, I forced myself to hold back... I didn't want to frighten her... But it felt so unbelievable to touch her in this way, and I let my hands travel down, down, her stomach, pressing down gently as her leg came up beside mine, and it was now. I had to get everything off now. My buckskins. My shirt. Too many barriers. Too many. She said my name, and then I found her eyes, and said, "I knew..."_

The feeling of his hands on me was incredible, and I sat myself up. "You knew…" He began to remove his clothing. I wanted to help, but I was frozen, staring at his chiseled features, his masculine arms and his…I was speechless. "From the first moment I kissed ya…I knew this was how it was gonna be." I sucked in a sharp breath, my eyes moving up to look into his. "Sully…in my heart, I knew too."

_She was staring at me, and for a moment, we didn't say anything. I simply put my hand over hers, and brought it up to my lips. I kissed it. Then it happened slowly. Time slowed down and we came together, unafraid. Her hands ran up my arms, while mine ran down the length of her body, and I pulled her to me, and I couldn't wait any longer. I had to touch her. My hands moved towards the soft flesh of her lower stomach, and I caught her eyes as I moved down, and when I touched her, she sighed like an angel from Heaven as her head fell back..._

My body was quaking, searching for relief that I had never needed before. I was reacting in places that I hadn't thought possible, and he was moving into position, getting ready to love me. It wasn't just a husband loving a wife. It was a spirit loving its soul mate. It was beautiful. It was natural. It was meant to be. I wanted to love him too, and I closed my eyes, gasping into his mouth, as he broke down the doors of my innocence, youth, purity. His hands clenched mine, and we were one. We were one…And, I sighed into his mouth, the pain present, but overshadowed by the pleasure I felt by just being in his arms. I had never known it could be like that. I breathed heavily, his mouth exploring my body in various ways. His tongue arousing parts of me that I never knew could be aroused. I breathed his name, and he was patient. He was everything I had expected and more.

_I held on to her as I filled her body. The muscles in my back and abdomen tightened, as I tried to be the man she deserved, trying to protect her and love her, as we rocked and molded into each other, as the cries filled my heart, my silence broke. I held onto her face, peering into her eyes as my willpower left me, and her head rolled back and forth as I felt her walls crashing down, as I felt her give into the sensations and feelings, and she covered my hand, pressing her mouth against it, whispering raggedly, "It's ok... It's ok... I want you... I want all of you..." And, a cry fell from my throat, as I felt her give herself to me, and I held her tightly, as I broke down, giving her all of my passion and love that I held inside for years but had never shown anyone... And, as I mounted unto a new high, she cried out, and I felt the tears falling down my face, and it was too much, too much; it was overwhelming, and as she cried out my name, I echoed with hers, and my eyes closed, and darkness descended as we fell...and I pulled back and looked into her eyes. Shocked. It was too much. _

I stared into his eyes for a moment, wondering, waiting, hoping for another kiss, but it never came. He turned his back for a moment, walking away, and my fears were realized. My God. No. No! He couldn't do this to me.

_I had to turn away from her. It was too beautiful. Everything was in her eyes. The future. It was blinding. It was too much. _

But, my worry quickly subsided when he turned back to face me.

_I gathered myself, covering my feelings with a casual smile, so she would never know. But, those eyes, oh, those eyes. _

Then my heart swelled. He held his hand out, silently asking for me to join him. I was ready. God, I was ready. A smile crept over my face, and I took his hand in mine.

_I laced her fingers in between mine. She smiled. It was a secret smile. I took a deep breath and we walked forward. Together. _


End file.
